Sam's wife was in the beauty shop for two hours. She got her nails done; she got a mudpack; and Sam said that she looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
From Wilbur Gencen's Sampler of Jewish Jokes
Here is your poker hand:
king ♥ Nine ♠ Six ♣ Four ♥ Four ♣
Your hand is a lousy pair.
In this session, you have had no previous hands. This is your first. Your limit for this session is six. You have five more chances to try for better, or to play against your buddies.
Hands that beat a pair increase your limit. The better your hand, the greater the increase! The winner is not necessarily the person who draws the highest hand. Rather, the “winner” is the person who is able to achieve the highest limit of hands (webmistress's website, webmistress's rules).
Anyone can play. Your ante is prepaid. No need to thank us. Your visiting us here is thanks enough.
This page remains in development. When fully operational, it will invite user names, and keep track of players' achievements. That may be weeks, or more, away. In the meanwhile, statistics that appear below, if any, are to be taken with a grain of salt. They are calculated from test data.
Once fully operational, there will be winners every month so long as there has been sufficient activity here. “Sufficient activity” might include, for example, a certain minimum number of visits, and a sufficient number of visitors. These numbers can be adjusted from time to time, as may be indicated.
Winners may receive prizes. No registration will be required to play. Registration will, however, be required to qualify for a prize. Visits by unregistered players will still count towards the monthly required minimum.
Thus far in April, four sessions, by two separate visitors, reached or exceeded their limit. The highest limit attained was thirteen. That limit was first reached on April ninth.
The quotation, witticism, opinion, advice, insult, useless fact, or bons mots above is number 600. Collect all 1112 of them!
Criminal Lawyers in New Jersey™ agree in some instances, and strongly disagree in others, with the sentiments on this and other pages in this collection. They provide these diversions in the hope that you will find them thought provoking or, for some, that they may, for a moment at least, arouse a chuckle or lighten the mood. At the same time, we recognize that you came to this site in the first place for more serious reasons.
Let the casual nature of this page not mislead you. Allan Marain takes his clients' difficulties very seriously. He takes equally seriously his responsibilities to guide his clients through those difficulties and, in the process, to minimize the disruption, both present and future, on his clients' lives. Mr. Marain has the knowledge, experience, dedication, and skill to discharge these responsibilities. In six separate years, Law & Politics Magazine, and the publishers of New Jersey Monthly, have included Allan Marain on its highly competitive list of New Jersey's “Super Lawyers”.
Criminal Lawyers in New Jersey™ invite you to outline your situation using their no-obligation case evaluation form. Or contact them through any of the other methods listed on this site.
They can help.
No aspect of this website has been approved by the Supreme Court of New Jersey.